Humbug

Well, I said I didn't want this blog to be all journal, but I've yet to come up with anything interesting in the way of short stories. Not that I think my life is actually that interesting, but I want to keep writing so I have to stay in the habit.

Right now, the holidays have me down. Not only is it the turn in the weather, but the ill that this season brings out in people. For a few months now, I've been thinking I'm going to make a lot of my Christmas gifts. For one, people usually appreciate that more. Two, I really have to watch the money these days. Yes, I realize that's no help to the economy, but it's the reality of the situation. Third, the rabid consumerism I'm seeing everywhere is deeply distressing. People getting pepper sprayed and/or shot over flat screen tvs?

No. I'm sorry. I just want no part.



I think the kids are the ones I usually spend money on. If I do, it will be spent on outings, not things. And, as all my god children will tell you, Auntie Meg almost always gets educational toys. That's not to say I get lame gifts. I don't. But whatever I do get, by golly they're going to learn or discover something from it. These kids all already have enough useless crap. I won't waste my money adding to the pile.

A lot of money has been spent these days on my elderly pets. Three of my five four-legged children are senior citizens. Olivia, in particular, is in decline. She is 18, has high blood pressure, blindness, viruses, anemia, etc and all have hit her quite suddenly since this summer. I simply cannot afford all the treatment the vet wants to give her. I'm not one of these people who is going to keep her alive for my sake, so I can feel good about myself. When it is her time, she will tell me, and it will be her time. She's being treated for the high blood pressure. The blindness is just something we cope with. The anemia treatment is an injection and I cannot afford it. I feel a little bit guilty about that. But what can really be done? Nothing much.

There's an indescribable tiredness I've been feeling lately. It's hard to explain. It's not even really physical tiredness. It's just, like I said, indescribable. I try not to let my moodiness spill over onto people. But then I end up just not talking about things that bother me. That's no good either. I've yet to come up with any sort of solution for that problem. I don't even really want to blog a lot about what bugs me because then this would just be a bunch of whining. There's enough of that on the internet already.


Ramble ramble ramble. I don't really have an ending here.

Happy holidays.